I met a man named Igor! He was a Russian and was from Siberia. I asked him how he got to America and he said, “I swam the Bering Straight of course!” I did not ask anything more after that…

He told me a story and here it is…

My name is Igor and I am from the great country of Russia! I have killed all the Zombies in Siberia, Russia and since Moscow has always been Zombies anyway, so I came to America, because I was board with life…

I came upon the shore of Alaska and found that Zombies in Alaska were wimps! I then found as I walked across Canada that Zombies in Canada were bigger wimps. Then I found Zombies in mainland America to be very wimpy…

Zombies in Siberia, now they knew how to be a Zombie and they are the toughest Zombies, I have ever erased. I made the choice to come to America and kill Zombies because I knew that European Zombies were definitely wimps. But now I kinda wish that I had tried Spain or France out first…

Now before you go and get all your hate up in arms and demand to know why I am anti-America? I need to tell you that being Ant-American has nothing to do with Zombies…

There is no America anymore and that is that. But as too why the Zombies are so much more powerful in Siberia?

Let me tell you a story with in a story…

We have trolls in Siberia, big nasty and monstrous trolls! Yes I know that trolls are everywhere but these trolls are huge and they all became Zombie trolls. Now in Canada and America, the trolls left a long time ago! I understood that they could not put up with all the “goody two shoes” everywhere…

The only trolls left in America were Internet Trolls and tiny trolls that lived in the sewers. So these trolls are easy to kill and even easier as a Zombie…

Wear good boots and have a sharp machete, then stomp the little troll Zombies and slice the head in half of the fat Internet Trolls…

So Russia was tough and I am on vacation in America right now…

Igor…