I met Tobya/Chick-O as I traveled Africa. She was working in a factory that produced footballs or soccer balls. She went to work at 4am as usual and well I will let her tell her story…

Hi I am Tobya,

I was just clocking in and getting ready to change my clothes in the locker room to my work clothes. I always did that and it helped save my good clothes from being ruined. I noticed that there was a few less people sowing up to work that day and I wandered if there was a flue going around?

I finished zipping up my coveralls and was getting ready to close the door to my locker, when I felt more than heard, someone behind me. Then that someone leaned close to my left ear and I turned my head slightly. I was use to perverts and such and had a stun gun in my locker. I gripped it as I turned my head and saw drool drip on my shoulder. I looked up and saw what I knew to be a Zombie. For you see I loved Zombie movies and I wrote Zombie books and Zombie stories. I simply loved Zombies. I figured that one day we would all fight for our lives as Zombies will definable take over the world…

So after a two second freeze of my mind, I jumped back to life instantly and stuck my stun gun between the Zombie’s eyes and pulled the trigger. It was one of those guns that had a wide prong set of electrodes and the Zombies nose bridge fit perfect between those prongs and the prongs went into its eyes. The next thing I knew those eyes popped from the frying effect of the stun gun…

Who knew that would happen?

The Zombie fell back and moaned that terrible Zombie sound that all Zombies do and then I noticed that a dozen Zombies came around the ends of the lockers to check out what was going on. I saw my best friend being drug along as several Zombies ate her from the feet upwards. She would have screamed as she was still alive, but her lower jaw had been ripped off and our other best friend was chewing on that…

I scrambled to the top of the lockers and that put me out of reach of the Zombies for a few minutes…

It dawned on me that I was the only one who was not a Zombie and then as I was thinking that, my best friend drug herself to her feet and joined the others in trying to reach me for a good bite to eat. My friend was now a Zombie…

The Zombies started to push against the lockers and then they started to make the lockers sway front to back. The Zombies in the backside pushed and it would sway to the front and the front Zombies would push and it would sway to the back. I knew that it would not be long and I would be on the ground…

I looked around for what to do…

I saw the heavy lamps hanging from the ceiling, way high in the ceiling. I knew that I could most likely jump and reach one of those lamps. I just hoped that the lamps would hold my weight. They had heavy looking cords holding them to the ceiling and it was really the only chance I had…

The Zombies got much more aggressive and the numbers were increasing. I waited until the front side Zombies pushed real hard and I pushed at the same time. I leaped into the air with their help and was just able to reach the nearest lamp. Then as I hung there, the Zombies went crazy and the lockers dell onto the front Zombies as the back Zombies pushed the hardest. I watched as Zombies were crushed by the heavy lockers and then the Zombies used those lockers to crawl upon to try to get me…

I pulled myself up and sat on the lamp shade. Lucky for me they are florescent and not super hot incandescent lights. I was safe for the moment as no Zombie could reach me. I looked around again and saw that at the end of my row of lights was a window to an office. If I could crawl to that window on the lights and break the window. Then maybe I could get out some way…

So as the room became fuller and fuller with Zombies and they started to pile up on each other, I realized that I had to move quickly, because sooner than later they were going to reach me on my perch…

I made it to the window and looked in. The room was one I had never been in before and it had a desk and cabinets in it. I also saw a couple of baseball bats in the corner of the room. Now that looked like something I could use…

I took the stun gun that I had put in my pocket and started to smack it against the window. After about 10 blows the glass fell away unto the Zombies below and inside the room. I carefully climbed in and looked around…

I saw two doors that went out from the room and I went through the cabinets. The cabinets held nothing useful, but the desk held a revolver. It also had a box full of shells. I knew how to use a gun, because my dad taught me, he was in the army…

Now I was glad I had my coveralls on, as they had many pockets and were easy to jump and run in. I gathered that the door on the left went to the stairs that went to the floor full of Zombies and to answer my thoughts, Zombies started to beat on that very door as I was thinking about it…

I pushed the desk and cabinets in front of that door and went to the other door and silently as possible opened that door to see what was behind it…

To my surprise it was a hallway that lead to an outer door of the building. I went out the office door and quickly closed the door behind me. It had a fire axe station right by the door and I used the breaker bar to wedge into the pull handle that operated the door lock system. I took the fire axe as it looked like a even better weapon than a baseball bat to kill Zombies with…

I went to the outer door and as I thought it went to the great outdoors. But nothing was so great any more. I peaked outside and saw Zombies everywhere and a few humans that I saw were being hunted down to be consumed…

I was thinking about what to do when the door I had just left shook on its hinges. They were trying to find me…

So I stepped outside and silently closed the door behind me. I found myself standing on a three story metal emergency escape ladder/stairs. No one looked my way and I decided to silently work my way to the next floor down and see what was going on inside if I could. I just stepped onto the landing of the second floor and the exit door burst open. I raised my axe and a Zombie flew off the landing and slatted on the ground below. Then this guy with the most gorgeous green eyes, just like mine, stepped out and said, “Take that you dead WORM!”

Then he looked at me and my axe and said,” Lets go you can help cover my back!” Then he said, “Lets find a safe place to hold up and besides I am hungry!” Then he said, “Lets go chick-O!”

I flared my eyes at him and he did not seem to notice that it pissed me off to be called chick-O!

I said, “My name it Tobya,” and then he just said, “What ever chick-O!”

So I am still with him to this day and he always calls me chick-O! I wonder why I never smacked him with that axe. I have to say that I kinda like the name now…

I just call him Stupid! and it seems to fit him most of the time as he has saved my life a thousand times…

But we are living happily forever after, or at least as happy as you can in this day and age of Zombies…

Tobya…

How you do it and what you do…

Dr. Peters M.D. told me a story and here it is…

Hey I am Dr. Peters,

After I gave Stryker a new chair and apologized for being a stupid idiot, I am now going to tell you all what we do in this town. What we do to bring our kinfolks back from the dead, or at least half way back…

I discovered at the time of the Zombie Virus outbreak that there was one or two people who were resistant to the virus. (Like me!) They were resistant to the virus in its original form, but they could be infected by bites and such. So I began experimentation on a few people as myself and isolated a gene that caused the original mutation to not spread in a very few people…

But as we soon found out that the original protection was void after being infected one time, so I turned my studies to how to revert Zombies back to the living…

I discovered after being bit by a Zombie, that injecting good human blood into a Zombie caused a reaction, when combined with barium used in rodenticides. Rat poison? I use rat poison as it comes from the box and since we have a manufacturing plant here in our town, we have unlimited availability of the product. I was able to perfect the results and use it on myself before I became to far gone…

I created a daily injection that is necessary for us half Zombies to stay half Zombies. We can think, run, talk, sleep and eat. Though not really all that good at any and all of those things. Some of us are better than others at being a half Zombie…

So we started to go out on quests and capture humans not affected. We needed the good blood, to bring our families back from the dead. Hence we have a town of half Zombies and we are always needing fresh blood to help us. For without the fresh blood we would all revert back to Zombies in a few days…

So there you have what is happening…

We would appreciate it if you would leave us to try to survive! It is a dog eat dog world, you know?

——————–

I sat a few minutes and absorbed what he said, I saw sweat dripping down his face as he watched me in silence. I felt the tension from him as he knew I was debating the future of this town…

Then I stood up and leaned on the desk in front of him. I stared at him and said, “You have humans being held for their blood! Where are they?”

He stuttered and stammered and tried to tell me that they had no live humans. But he knew I knew better as they had to have a constant supply of blood to keep themselves going. I had shaken him up so bad that he messed up in telling his story and told too much…

I saw his eyes flicker to the door behind me and I spun with the sword in flight. It took the town law enforcement and sliced his head off very nicely. I then spun back to the Doctor and as the sword came to my hand. I touched the tip of the sword against his forehead and he screamed as the sword drew his life force from his body…

He pointed up as in upstairs and I withdrew the sword and walked out of the room. I looked back and saw a slumped Doctor in his chair. He was done for and he knew it…

I looked at the beheaded town law enforcement and saw his eyes following me. I would say that they are more Zombie than human and that is that…

I walked up the stairs and found half Zombies all over the place. They were tending to humans kept chained in 25 rooms in the upper floor of the big brick building. It was a regular blood bank and no one noticed me except the people chained into the rooms. The half Zombies were absorbed in their tasks and it looks like mental superiority was not big amongst the half Zombies. I would say that the Doctor was much smarter before all this happened…

Then I got mad! I am not sure why, but I just got mad. You see I am a very unforgiving god and this just kinda pissed me off. I started to grab half Zombies by the neck and toss them down the stairs, I just came up. One at a time I threw them down, until there was a huge pile of them at the lower floor. I saw the Doctor had made it out to the area I was throwing them and he fell amongst them as if in defeat…

Then I released all the people I found…

22 people being held captive for their blood. They were being drained of life like a bunch of vampires had them for a food source. I was getting ready to go down the stairs and kill the Zombies when someone behind me that I had let loose spoke up…

A woman said, “Wait!”

I turned and waited as I saw she was gathering what she wanted to say…

She said, “Lets us think about this before you kill them! I think that I could speak for many of us and say that we would be glad to work with this situation and try to develop a permanent solution to the Zombie Virus world that we live in.” Then she said, “I understand their desperation and we are human and hence we should forgive, but not forget!”

Several other spoke up that they feel that what had happened was very wrong and they almost died. They have lived in fear of what was being done to them, but that they had discovered that there was a possibility of saving the human race in this madness…

If the situation can be made to become a legit science issue, then they would be glad to work with these half Zombies and try o find a cure…

I thought about what was said and nodded in agreement…

I told them that I will stay one month and allow them to get the town under control and prove to me that this is worth it. I will decide the fate in one month…

Then I walked out of the building and went to find a cup of coffee and do some thinking…

Stryker…

In my travels around the world, I have come upon some strange things and one of the strangest things I have come upon is “The Half-Zombie Town…”

I entered a little town located in Canada, way up in North Canada. The town looked pretty normal and there was a fair number of people wandering the streets. It almost looked like a normal town and that nothing had happened when the Zombie Virus hit the world. Then I discovered something that made me cringe as I wandered the town. I found a huge zoo full of Zombies…

That is the moment that I realized that the townspeople were all Part Zombies themselves! They were Zombies that had kept some of their intelligence and speaking abilities…

They skirted away from me and turned their eyes away from my stare as I walked and looked around. Shops locked the doors and put up the closed sign as I walked by. Strange was not the world for it…

I decided, much to the distaste of the townspeople, to stay a few days and try to find out what happened in this town. How did it end up being full of living half-zombies and walking dead full-zombies are in a Zoo, behind bars…

It was cold and snowing like crazy and as I walked up the only hotel’s steps. They hurried and locked the door. I decided that the next door locked in my face and I would politely kick the door in. I figured we might find out what these half-zombies are made of, if I did that. So true to my word, I released a little bit of pent up emotions and ripped the doors off the hinges…

You could have heard a pin drop after the dust settled and I felt the whole town hold its breath. I walked in and rang the bell on the counter and no one answered. So I took a key from the box on the back wall and let myself into a room on the 4th floor. I wanted a room to see if anyone was coming down the main street…

I heard a commotion downstairs, as it sounded like some people were cleaning up the mess I made and soon hammering and sawing was going on. They were fixing the door I tore to pieces…

I drove my sword through the door handle edge and the wall. It would keep someone from opening the door and if anyone grabs my sword they will find out that it is a thirsty for blood kinda critter and then I laid down to take a nap. I had my other sword by my side in case someone decided to come through the windows. After a few hours of good sleep, I was ready to do some sightseeing some more and figure out what was happening in this very strange town…

I opened my door to the room and found a very dead half-zombie laying on the floor by the bannister rail. Looks like someone tried to touch my sword. Not smart…

Then I walked down stairs to the lobby and this time no one ran and hid, they just froze at what they were doing and watched me. I guess that they figured that I was beyond their control and that running will do not good. In fact as I stepped outside I was greeted by the town law enforcement…

This skinny grey skinned half-zombie with a badge stood there with a gun drawn and pointed at me. It was hilarious and you could tell that the townspeople made him come to arrest me. I could see and feel every window with eyes at them and they all watched what was gong to happen…

I really was in no mood to be bothered, as I wanted to discover what created these half-zombies. So I walked down the front stairs of the hotel and walked up to the town cop. His gun shook and I was afraid he would shot himself at this point. Or wet his pants was a better possibility. I decided to ask him a question instead of killing him…

I asked him, “Tell me what happened here?”

He looked at me still shaking and said, “I was told to not tell you nothing and to keep my trap shut! Now you are under arrest and will be tried and prosecuted as the others have been!”

Now that got my attention and it told me that others, being humans have been prosecuted here. That kinda upset me and my mood was starting to get sour…

I then decided to ask another question, “Why the zoo?”

He said, “Those kin folk and as we get real live humans, we convert back our kin to what we are now.” Then he said, “I said you are under arrest and I want you to put your hands up and walk down the street toward the jail house!”

I stood there and took in what he said, It crossed my mind that they had discovered how to partly revive the walking dead and give back some humanity, but it was at the expense of a human life, a normal human that had not been infected. So they were no better than a regular Zombie. Either way the killed humans to survive…

But I needed to see what they had discovered, because maybe it would help the whole human race, if possible…

I looked him in the eye and said, “I am going to take your gun from you, so you will not hurt yourself and then you will take me to the place that you change Zombies to half-zombies…”

He started to say something and as fast as he said, “No…….” I took the gun he had and tossed it to the ground about 20 yards away. He then said, “Awk!……”  and took off running down the street. I followed him and watched as he ran into a huge brick building. I walked up to the door of the building and it had a sign, that said, “Dr. Peters – M.D.”

I pulled my swords and kicked the steel door in! I figured that I was entering the spiders nest and they will fight if pushed to far…

I walked into a huge room, that was empty and it had 4 doors other than the one I came in, leading out from that room. I noticed that the door straight across from me was slightly open and I decided to try that one first. I needed to gather information first before I sterilize this town of its sickness. I realized that I would not allow this town to kill another human again and from the look of it they have killed thousands of real humans just to become half-zombie…

I put the swords away to look less wicked, much to the swords dismay and entered the room with the door ajar. I found a man sitting behind a desk waiting for me. He seemed confident, but was ill at ease with the realization of the unknown staring at him. He had become use to calling the shots in the town and now he faced direct competition for his power…

I sat down in a very nice easy chair near his desk and said, “I assume that you know about the changing of Zombies to half-zombies and I want to know the process. How you do it and what you do…”

He laughed and I saw him push a button under the edge of the desk. The floor fell out from under me and my wonderful soft chair fell into a deep dark hole. I of course not being like a normal human and being a whole bunch god, stayed suspended in the air, right where I was sitting. I carried on as if I noticed nothing and asked him again…

I said, “I assume that you know about the changing of Zombies to half-zombies and I want to know the process. How you do it and what you do…” as I floated in the air…

He gulped and then told me a story and that will be Part 2 tomorrow…

Stryker…

“Bolshevism is knocking at our gates, we can’t afford to let it in…We must keep America whole and safe and unspoiled. We must keep the worker away from red literature and red ruses; we must see that his mind remains healthy.” Al Capone…

That is what I heard and recognized as a quote by Al Capone from the early 1930’s! I knew that Al Capone could not be around this day and age, but I had found someone that had slipped over the edge of fantasy and really thought he was Al Capone…

In fact he had developed a whole world devoted to the thirties in Chicago, America! The only problem was that we were in the middle of Moscow, Russia. Dab smack in the middle of Moscow and Al Capone had made himself at home in one of the most famous fortresses in the world. The Moscow Kremlin…

Walking through the gates of the Kremlin guarded by Chicago Mafia thugs was interesting and everyday was a day like the roaring 20’s in America. Guns, whiskey, women and machine gunning Zombies down as they tried to clean up their city…

I did not try to correct him about his geography mess up, because he was too much fun to listen to. So here is his story about what happened the day that the Zombie Virus hit Moscow, Russia…

Hows it,

I am Al Capone and my good buddy Stryker who has been so nice to visit me here in this wonderful city of Chicago. I am going to tell you about when we had to become hold up in this here prison for rich people, you know it even has churches in it and all?

Enough of that, lets talk about what happened the day everyone became screwy idiots and no brains…

I was walking down the street looking at these walls of this wonderful safe prison. I never thought I would think a prison was safe! Then out of behind a bush, this commie Russian tried to bite me. I was not sure where he came from and I never really felt right about shooting someone with out a reason and when he tried to bite me again. That was all the reason I needed. I shot him between the eyes…

That is when I noticed that people were running all around and screaming. Either you ran around screaming or you bit people and ate them. Then the ones that were bitten got up and tried to bite others. It was just plain sick and people always worried about me and my degenerate ways. Kinda makes me look like a good guy, huh?

Well I was near a gate to the inside of the prison and I thought to myself, “Al this is a good place to get out of the way of these sick-O’s…”

So inside I went. The gates were open and I kicked two guards out the door and shut the gates and door to the outside.  I had enough ammo to hold out for a little bit and inside it was easy to pick off the sick-O’s. They just stumbled around and I walked up on the guards ledge that ran around the whole inside of the complex. I found 5 Russian women and 3 Russian guys. You know they could not speak English?

Then I figured out that this must be some kind of commie attack on America and these poor blokes got lost from their troops. I pointed my gun at them and they seemed to understand that language and they were real good. Actually they are my right hand men and women, now that we have made this place into a pretty good home. There is 50 people here and they are all Russians, (Can you figure that?) so I have had to learn a little Russia and they have learned a little English and all is good amongst the troops…

Since they are the only ones that I have found alive in Chicago, I have to take what I can get and for commies they are not bad…

The interesting part is that I can not find a single member of my old gang and to be truthful, until Stryker came along, I had some strange dreams that I was not in Amewrica anymore. But Stryker speaks good fine English and that set my doubts back to the rear again…

We have a right good thing going here and one day we will get all these commie sick-O’s wandering the streets of Chicago cleaned up. My gang is top notch and there are times I do not even miss the old gang. Well except when these Russians party and all they want to drink is vodka. It kinda gets lonely once in a awhile and I have yet to figure out what happened. I can not find my home at 7244 South Prairie Avenue in the Park Manor neighborhood on the city’s south side of Chicago for nothing and all the street signs are in Russian now…

They moved quick these commies! Looks like we won, but the shock of being attacked on our soil has sent many Americans over the edge. I am just glad that I was able to keep myself together mentally. It has been rough…

Remember: “Bolshevism is knocking at our gates, we can’t afford to let it in…We must keep America whole and safe and unspoiled. We must keep the worker away from red literature and red ruses; we must see that his mind remains healthy.”

That is enough for today and I got some Whiskey to drink…

Al Capone…

Well that was an interesting story and even though much is nothing but a figment of a simple deranged mind. They still have a pretty good life here in Moscow, Russia. It is strange that someone could snap that bad and even more strange that the Russians put up with a man who thinks he is in Chicago still and calls everyone commies…

After a few shots of whiskey and some more tales from the Russians, I went on my way and the last I saw of Al Capone was when he waved to me as I walked away. He was definitely a happy guy. In fact the whole group was happy and content. What better could it be for a gangster, drinking, women, looting and shooting Zombies?

I never did learn his real name…

Stryker…

It has been awhile since I talked about the network of drain pipes city that is full of kids. So I thought that I would update the situation on what is happening at the Drain Pipe City…

Everything is really going very well at the kids city and only one set back has happened. It would not have been a set back except the handful of adults that I left to keep an eye on the city while I was gone, refused to do their job and let a army of Zombies to attack the Drain Pipe City unhindered…

I was in Africa gathering information on what happened there and I felt a death of my kids happen. Then I felt a impending doom settle over the world as I realized that something has happened at my special project city…

I have taken to walking and traveling everywhere on earth as a normal human does. It makes it better for everyone and it also keeps my nerves under control. Something about being a human transformed into a Reaper God makes me get really grouchy if I have to use my powers. In this case when I appeared at The Drain Pipe City, I was really grouchy as I found a whole bunch of drunk adults and a city of children being attacked by Zombies…

The kids were fighting magnificently and would win except for the fact that there had to be millions of Zombies and only a few thousand kids…

I pulled my two swords from their sheaths and when they realized that they would feast on Zombie blood today. They screamed like a banshee in delight. I walked down the hill I stood on and waded into the crowd of Zombies and spent the next 6 hours, slicing and dicing Zombies like a lettuce salad. I made everyone of them a tasty delight for my swords and the swords screamed with pleasure, as I have not been this generous with Zombie blood for years…

While I was tearing Zombies apart, I saw a human run for the hills. It was then that I realized that someone had planned this attack and it was not a Zombie. I remembered who it was and went back to finishing the task at hand. I would deal with the adults who allowed this in a little bit…

I fought my way to the group of kids and there we finished off the Zombies. As the kids finished off the wounded and crawling Zombies. I pulled aside a few of the boys who were leaders of the group and asked what happened?

I was told this:

The kids were just finished with their schooling lessons and a man who they had never seen before wandered into the city. He said that he had information to pass on from me (Stryker) and that we needed to all meet in the open area at the center of the Pipe City…

It turns out that while we all met in the center, the whole city was surrounded with Zombies and when we saw hundreds of adults leading them into our city and then running away as the Zombies smelled fresh kids to eat. We knew that we had been set up and we were being killed by the adults…

We fought and tried to win, but there was too many Zombies and the adults were helping them, by shooting us from roof tops as we fought…

I looked around and saw hundreds of dead kids and that is when I got mad. I got very mad and then I saw red…

I told the kids to clean up the mess and said, “If they no what is good for them! Do Not Follow Me!”

I walked out of the city and over the nearest hill, for I knew there I would find my next victims and my swords screamed with delight at the prospect of fresh human blood. I was not a compassionate god right at this moment…

I crested the hill and in the expanse that lay before me I found thousands of human adults and millions of Zombies. I also saw one Zombie God from the outer Worlds and I knew that this was an attempt at stopping the one really good thing that I was trying to do on earth. My city of kids…

That is when my world went black and everything was outlined in red sketch marks, like a pencil drawing, but in black and red. I was mad beyond mad and nothing was safe on earth at this point…

Two days later with my hand closed around a Zombie gods throat and millions of dead laying all around for miles and miles. I looked up and saw thousands of kids in single file row along the crest of the hills all around! They had watched fom above and did as I said and stayed away…

I looked down at the Zombie god and looked into his eyes. I saw fear like you have never seen and I saw the millions of dead souls that sent him to do a job and finish off earth. I also saw what I had to do and I ran my sword through his left side of his face and destroyed the left side of his body. I crippled him and then I told him that he is going home. That he is going to tell his compadres that I will be coming for them and if they come back, I will come sooner than later. But regardless I will come…

I then drove my sword into his left side and sent him to the outer world that he came from. The sword went with him and in a split second the heavens exploded as hundred  thousand Zombie gods and demons were killed by the sword I unleashed in the outer world. Then my sword came back to me and with it all the energy of a hundred thousand Zombies held within her and I absorbed the energies that she contained…

I was knocked to the ground and it was all that I could do to contain the forces and keep it from harming all the kids…

Then as it subsided, I sat down and stared at my swords laying on the ground next to me. Then I heard a child behind me and he said, “You Okay?” I recognized the voice as the boy who had poked me the morning that I first found this place…

I looked up and said, “Who is asking?”

He looked at me and said, “Me the bravest one of the Pipe City, that’s who!”

I smiled and looked at all the faces around me and then as the sun smiled brightly and a cool breeze blew…

I knew it was going to be a good day and it was time to get The City of Drain Pipes back in order and I needed to go look for more kids to inhabit this place…

As we put things back in order, I thought about how could this have happened and why must it happen this way. Then I realized that the adults had been swayed by the issues of jealousy…

Invidia (envy) that is one of the 7 sins and the sins are always the weaknesses of mankind…

Looks like a trip to the Outer World will be coming soon, but that is another story all together…

Time to go collect some more stories about what happened that fateful day that the Zombie Virus attacked the humans…

Stryker…

I was wandering the wastelands of what was Bulgaria. For some reason Bulgaria was literally wiped out. It seems that it started on fire after the Zombie Virus attack and never stopped burning. I really think that the people of Bulgaria saw no way to win the Zombie war against the Virus and they kept the fire burning and just incinerated everything across the country. The ones who were left simply built a huge wall around the country and as of right now, Bulgaria is almost Zombie free…

So I took a walk around the almost Zombie and almost human free zone called Bulgaria. I met Miss Zelma. Miss Zelma carried a mean vacuum cleaner tube and she could crack a Zombie skull in a heart beat. Here is her story…

Hi,

My name is Zelma, Miss Zelma for those of you who do not know me…

I guess I will tell you a story of what happened to me on that dreadful day that the Zombie Virus was let loose on the earth. I guess it would be wise of me since I bopped Stryker on the head with my vacuum cleaner pipe. I said I was sorry and I guess that I was just a little jumpy, for I had just found a concrete building with two Zombies that had survived the fires. Stryker needs to be more careful and not sneak up on a lady the way he did…

Well it all started years ago and I was sweeping my house with one of the vacuums that I tried to sell. I was a vacuum salesperson in the old days and made a living selling this Chinese brand of vacuum. It was tough and really a good vacuum. It had real steel pipes that held a heavy carpet beater brush. It was indestructible and that is what saved me…

I was vacuuming my house and as I always did, I opened the doors and windows and aired the house out while I vacuumed. I did not care what the weather was, I opened the house up and let the air in and the dirt out. It kept me healthy for all these years, but it almost killed me on this particular day…

I was minding my own business and concentrating on sweeping the dirt from my carpets, when a shadow fell over me. I moved to the right of me and a Zombie stumbled by. Yes it was obviously a Zombie and I had a hundred Zombie movies that I regularly watched and I can tell you that a Zombie stumbled by me as it tried to grab me to eat my brains. I just knew that Zombies would take over the earth one day. How did I figure that?  Because we humans are just plain stupid and do not know a good thing when we got it. It was inevitable with all the experiments on genetics that we would, “Dance With The Devil In The Pale Moon Light” one day soon…

Well back to my story: It turned and fastened it one good eye on me and I was standing there with that vacuum hose attached to the “Chinese Super Sucker 10,002” as I called it. They (The Chinese!) promised that it could suck the varnish off a piece of wood if you wanted it to. So I stuck that nozzle in his last good eye and pop, I sucked that eye right out of his head. He stopped as if he was confused and then I pushed with all my strength and the next thing I know. I was sucking his brains out of his head and as the vacuum died a horrible death, he died with it…

I said too my self, “That is one strong vacuum! It really is…” Then I realized that there was another Zombie in the house with me. I guess that I just opened the door as I always did and just allowed these damn Zombies to walk right in, to look for a good meal. Well I am hear to tell you…

I detached that steel tube from the vacuum and pulled it out of the dead Zombie’s eye socket and spun to defend my home from this Zombie invasion. As I swung the tube and hit the new Zombie, blood and brains flew out of the tube as I swung it and they splattered all over the ceiling and walls. Damn I thought, “I have a mess to clean up now!” Little did I know that the whole world had gone Zombie crazy…

Well I smashed the new Zombie with the pipe and crushed his head. I ran to the door and slammed it shut as another Zombie tried to get up my front porch stairs. I turned and found the Zombie I just hit, crawling toward me and I smacked him again. I told myself the rules and I said them out loud right then and there…

I said, ” Zelma – Hit them hard, hit their head and hit them often!” I then said, “Zelma – It is a war and the Zombies have come. So the strong will live!” Then I shut up and gathered my things together and went out into the world to rid the earth of Zombies…

I have carried this steel tube all this time and it is so strong that nothing has bent it yet. I have not found a Zombie head that was strong enough to bend it and all heads so far have cracked right nicely…

Well that is until I smacked Stryker with it and he bent my steel tube. I have to say that he has a really hard head, but he found me a new supply of vacuum tubes made in China and I am back in business… 🙂

Remember Miss Zelma to you! That is…

Hey my name is Vassily and I have a story. First I will tell you about this Stryker guy…

Stryker found me doing my thing and I was collecting some scalps of them damn Zombies. I like to collect these scalps and keep them to remind the gods why all this crap is about. If there is any doubt that the world has gone nuts, then these scalps with tell you other wise…

The world has gone plain nuts…

Well this Stryker guy walked up behind me and that is not smart to do. Well not smart unless you are Stryker, for as I turned and was going to remove his head from his shoulders. He brought out a sword of the likes that I have never seen and my poor Katana was split like a bamboo shoot with an axe. I mean he split in darn near perfectly down the center lengthwise and stopped right at the hilt. Then he looked me in the eye and said, “No No No – bad!”

Lucky I have more swords, but that really was my favorite sword and I just started to cry. For you see, I realized that he was no Zombie and that I was a terrible person. I tried to kill god, but you can’t kill god and I am lucky that he did not kill me. I looked into his eyes and saw the pain of thousands of years of death and destruction of humans and that pain was deeper than anything that I ever had to endure. I felt so bad that I started to cry…

Okay lets talk about what I was doing when the Zombie Virus hit…

I lived in a little town located on a river. Well the night all that this hit, we were in the middle of a terrible flood. I was just able to keep myself alive and every time I would get hold of something to steady myself with another huge wave of water would knock me farther from the town…

It was while I was trying to survive when I realized that the people that I saw, had a strange look about them. It was raining and these people seemed to be still kinda alive, but they all stared at the rain as if it was something miraculous…

Well since our area is very flat and very dry normally, I finally touched bottom to all this water and as fast as it came it went away. Except I was many miles from town. So was many other people…

It was still raining slightly and everyone as the water receded, was staring at the sky, well except me. Then as the last of the water went away and all that was left was people looking at the sky, dead animals and trash and me hanging onto a hedge apple tree. I stayed were I was and just watched…

First thing as the rain finally stopped, I noticed that the people started to move. They all immediately attacked all the dead animals that laid around and ate them. Then they started to wander aimlessly around in circles and searched for food. They sniffed the air and finally they caught scent of me. They all started to moan and come my way and then it hit me…

Zombies…

These damn things were Zombies…

I looked behind me and the way was clear and I saw a crowbar laying stuck in the base of a tree. It seems strange that water can carry a steel crowbar, but when I looked around I realized that cars were out here in the middle of the desert also. I ran or should say slipped and slid to the crowbar and grabbed. The ground was getting better and better as it dried up and I could move better all the time, but that meant they could also. I knew what they had in mind, for I just watched them eat dead animals like a tasty treat. I bet a fresh meat like me would be even more desirable than a dead animal…

It looked like the whole town was out here with me and the first person or Zombie that I smashed the head on, was little ole-granny Mildred Bernstein. She was  missing her false teeth and that is the only thing that saved me at that point. She tried to gum me to death. I got over my worry about killing people right at that moment. I smack granny on top the head and did not stop smacking heads until I was in the cliffs of the nearby hills. I found that Zombies could not climb these cliffs hardly at all and I also found a cave…

At first before I cleared all the Zombies away. I can remember seeing the postman, the policeman, the fireman and the little bay who broke my window on my house. The whole town was at the foot of my cliff and they all wanted to eat me…

I had figured away to get around these characters and get back to town without them knowing it. I got my dog (Tata) from the house, (He survived by staying in the stairway that leads to the attic. The water never got that high!) he was very happy to see me and we were lucky that my house held together…

I also went to a sport store and found that I could get in. In the mess inside, I gathered weapons of various sorts and the one that I found to be the best was a katana sword. I got really good with it and now have found that it is the best weapon for Zombies…

Tata knows not to bark at the sight of a Zombie, but when he needs to bark, he has saved my life several times, by running and making a distraction so that I can get away and circle around and kill Zombies. Smart dog…

I have been killing Zombies and there seems to not be an end to them. It is like they grow on trees around here somewhere. Oh they are less than at first, but you never can let your guard down for a Zombie will be waiting to kill you. Why I even just had to kill my next door neighbor! She was one of the ones I was scalping as you found me…

Last I saw she was still in her house and could not get out. I guess ahe was stronger than I thought. Oh that reminds me, a Zombie is a persistent cuss! They seem to never sleep and never stop. They will do something a million times and then do it another million times. Most of the time they will succeeded and you better not think that they will not. A Zombie seems to rot, but for some reason they are rotting very slowly. I mean at this pace, they will take a hundred years to rot away far enough to stop functioning. At least in the desert area that is how it seems…

I guess I am done…

Vassily…

While I was wandering the wastelands of South America, I came upon a man named Vassily. Vassily was a tiny man, but he could move like Lightning and was pretty strong to boot. He had a Katana Sword that he welded like a ballet dancer in a storm…

Nothing escaped his touch as he passed through a cloud of Zombies and every Zombie was beheaded when he left the cloud…

Vassily lived in a cave and had a strange habit, since he was Indian or so he claimed and Indians like to collect scalps as a trophy. Vassily collected Zombie scalps…

These scalps he collected then were dried and he hung them in his cave. He had hundreds and hundreds of them…

I found him scalping a few Zombies that he just killed and he invited me back to his cave, but not until after he tried to take me down with that Katana. He had not seen anyone but a Zombie in so long that he was half “gone plum local…” 🙂

But hey he can not be all bad, he has a good little dog named Tata…

Here is his story…

Stryker…

Back to real time: I went to the camp of people that have been following me. I woke them up and once they were all assembled so that I could see them. I went among them and picked all the boys and girls out of the group and sent them to the hillside to wait…

I told the adults that things have changed and that all adults would be coming with me and the children would be staying, as I have a better place for the children…

Okay, so I realize that this sounds really bad! But the world we live in is really really bad and I think that maybe it is time for a really big change of existence…

I have promised protection for the Drain Pipe City and my protection is the final word…

It is simple, Out with the old and in with the new! The adults that I am finding 99% of the time have their head up their ass and that is not what the new world will be like. As I find adults that I think can advance properly, the future of the world, then I will bring them to this place and they will become teachers and mentors to help the kids…

So I sent a devastated group of adults off over the horizon and they have been told that they will never come back. They also can still follow me, because they literally will not make it otherwise. The kids cheered and ran to the Drain Pipe City. I was actually kinda surprised and yet was not surprised at the kids response. These kids have looked for a real home and most if not all, do not have parents anymore. So bad things had been happening and yes, adults are stupid asses and bad things were happening, under the covers…

Enough said about that and I have cured it for now. I will keep an eye on this place and I will have guardian angles looking over it all the time, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year…

More about this Drain Pipe City as time goes by. I have a lot of work to do here and I have a lot of adults to find a place for. I really do not want them to follow me all over the world as I talk to people…

So a few more stories from my escapades and I will get back to everyone with the final situation on the Drain Pipe City…

Stryker…

With Rod leading the way, we transcended the lower levels of the ship! Rod seemed like a man possessed and he had put on a suit of bullet proof material. It was a shark suit and would stop the Zombies from biting him. I found out later that was his personal suit and he had retrieved it from a locker on the bridge. I also found out that he was a officer of the ship…

With this suit on he walked straight into the Zombies and with gloved hands ripped Zombies apart like a grinding machine does a fine cut of beef. I kept the stragglers from behind from getting Rod and I let him create the path to the men who were trapped. We progressed floor after floor and just when I thought that we would never find these guys we entered a passage and at the other end, maybe a hundred meters away, we saw them enter the same passage, through a  bulkhead door. They saw us and screamed help. It seems that they had hundreds of Zombies trying to follow them into the passage way. They also had 50 or more Zombies trying to get them in the passage way. The Zombies paid us no mind, as the other guys screamed and drew their attention. So we walked right into the fray and slaughtered Zombies. Or I should say Rod did and I kinda watched. You see, being in the way of Rod would be worse than fighting a Zombie. I had a chance with a Zombie, but with Rod! One swipe of that huge paw and he would take my head off at the shoulders and I just watched him do that to a Zombie, right at that moment…

He got to the door and pushed everyone out of the way! Then he swung the door open wide and with a huge grunt and heave, he slammed it shut! The door squirted Zombies in all directions as it was forced shut with more force than a bulldozer hitting it and with a spin of the wheel, the door was sealed…

Then he turned and walked back the way we came and started to kill Zombies that we had missed. I looked at the guys and motioned to come on. I was silent for I knew that something was wrong and it was wrong big time…

Rod was acting like a crazed animal and he even was opening doors and shredding Zombies that did not even need to be bothered…

Then I saw it! He was bitten. Something had been able to bite all the way through the special cloth. I could not understand how, but there it was on his back a bite into the flesh…

We got to the surface and on deck and then Rod looked up at me and said, “Do it quick! I feel the change coming! Do it quick, because you will all die by my hands as a Zombie!”

I stood there with that metal bar that he gave me and I looked at the most powerful man I have ever known, but he was powerless to fight off the bite of a Zombie. I knew he was correct, we could not stop him as a Zombie. He is willing to let me kill him now, but in a few minutes he will willingly kill me…

I raised the bar and looked at his eyes. I was not afraid to look away, because he deserved dignity in death. He deserved to die his way and not be one of these mindless, slobbering, stumbling, sick and pathetic creatures called a Zombie…

With that hatred for what they did to this powerful man. I swung the bar and smashed his head and I kept smashing his head, until the others stopped me. Then I screamed at the friend that I had found/killed and screamed at god for doing this and screamed at the Zombies and screamed at myself and screamed at the world…

Then I removed his head from his body and tossed it nonchalantly over the side, because that is what he would consider correct and now he will never turn to a Zombie!

Never ever…

That was the start of the Zombie Virus for me! How has your day been?

Paul